20. THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS |
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When someone hurts your feelings or shames you, what is your typical response? Do you immediately want to forgive that person or do you hold a grudge and think of revenge? For most of us, forgiveness is the last thing we are thinking about. Why is that?
Behnaz was a 13-year-old girl living in Batman. She was very intelligent, hardworking, and dreamed of one day moving to Istanbul to be a doctor. She remembered the time when she was gravely sick and a local doctor saved her life. While she was lying in bed recuperating, she promised herself that she would dedicate her life to helping others. But unfortunately, that dream would never be realized.
One day after school, one of her older brothers saw her talking with a boy in the school courtyard. He quickly walked up and told the boy to get lost. He grabbed his sister’s arm and nearly dragged her home. That night he told his father and without ever questioning Behnaz, they exacted a punishment.
Unfortunately, the ending of the story is grim and we don’t need to provide any details. Behnaz never became a doctor because she was killed at the tender age of 13. Her family thought that she had shamed them by talking to the boy, but she was actually answering a question about homework. Blinded by rage and unwilling to listen to her explanation they chose revenge over forgiveness. Why is it so hard to forgive?
In the Bible, there are many stories of shame and betrayal. And while there are some incidents of revenge, there seems to be a recurrent theme of forgiveness. One of the best examples from the Old Testament happened during the life of a remarkable young man. The young man was Joseph and after being sold into slavery by his brothers and imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, he could have become very bitter to those who had treated him unfairly. And if he ever had a chance, he could have sought revenge. But he chose to view the events of his life from a different perspective and to walk the highroad of forgiveness. Let’s pick up the story from where our last lesson left off in Genesis chapter 42 verses 1-4:
1 When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, Why do you look at one another? 2 And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die. 3 So ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4 But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with his brothers, for he feared that harm might happen to him.
Many years had passed and Jacob’s sons were now men. The same famine that was affecting Egypt was also affecting Canaan. It seems that Joseph’s plan to save grain during the seven years of plenty was working well. The Egyptians were surviving and there were enough surpluses to sell to foreigners. As the supplies of Jacob’s family dwindled, it became apparent that they too would need to buy grain from Egypt. Jacob, still hurting from the loss of Joseph and not wanting to lose another young boy, ordered his 10 older sons to go and Benjamin to stay. Let's read what happened next in verses 5-8:
5 And the sons of Israel came to buy corn among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan. 6 And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth. 7 And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food. 8 And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.
Take a minute to imagine the scene. Jacob’s sons arrive in Egypt and are ushered forward to the governor who oversaw all grain sales. The guards are standing there with spears, the measuring scales are being filled with grain, and money is being exchanged. The Bible says that amidst all the hustle and bustle Joseph, looking like every other Egyptian official, immediately knew his brothers. He could have immediately exacted revenge on his brothers but didn't and he chose not to reveal his true identity. Imagine Joseph's emotions racing as they bow down before him fulfilling the prophetic dream given to him so many years before. He begins to interrogate them in verses 9-17:
9 And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.10 And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come. 11 We are all one man's sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies. 12 And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come. 13 And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not. 14 And Joseph said unto them, That is it that I spake unto you, saying, Ye are spies: 15 Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither. 16 Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies. 17 And he put them all together into ward three days.
Those men must have wondered what in the world they got themselves into. All they wanted to do was buy some grain and go home. But instead they were in prison and being accused of espionage. It appears the tide had turned and they were reaping what they sowed many years before. What does Joseph have in store for them and why isn’t he telling them who he is? Let's continue with verses 18-24:
18 And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; for I fear God: 19 If ye be true men, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses: 20 But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so. 21 And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us. 22 And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required. 23 And they knew not that Joseph understood them; for he spake unto them by an interpreter. 24 And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.
Joseph, knowing that he held the lives of his brothers in the palm of his hand and wondering if they had changed, decided to test them in three areas: honesty, loyalty, and self-sacrifice. Three character traits that they had placed such little value on when they were younger. So many years had passed since they betrayed him and lied to their father. During those years, Joseph had suffered so much as a slave and prisoner; not to mention being separated from his father and mother. He wondered if they had changed as much as he had and if they were worthy of his forgiveness. And what about this younger brother they spoke of? Were his brothers telling the truth or just trying to get themselves out of trouble?
The scriptures say that Joseph was greatly moved by his brothers’ sense of guilt and unable to control his emotions he turned to cry. It is amazing that there is no mention of bitterness or thoughts of revenge in the whole story. It wasn’t self- discipline or even self-control, but rather the close communion that he had with God that allowed him to act without anger. Somehow, Joseph was able to hold back the tears and continued. He ordered that Simeon, the one whose idea it was to sell Joseph as a slave, be thrown into jail and the others released. Let's get back to the story in verses 25-38:
25 Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them. 26 And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence. 27 And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it was in his sack's mouth. 28 And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, it is even in my sack: and their heart failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us? 29 And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying, 30 The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country. 31 And we said unto him, We are truemen; we are no spies: 32 We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan. 33 And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone: 34 And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land. 35 And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man's bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid. 36 And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me. 37 And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again. 38 And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.
Jacob couldn’t believe what he heard. His sons had brought him so much pain through the years and now he had two lost sons instead of one. As far as he knew, Joseph was dead, Simeon was a prisoner in Egypt, and a foreign power wanted his youngest son Benjamin. How could the great covenant with God be fulfilled if his sons were to be slowly taken away? Jacob didn’t want to lose anything else and refused to give his sons permission to return to Egypt. But the food would only last so long and Jacob eventually found himself in a bind. If he sent his sons back to Egypt without Benjamin, he would lose them all. And if he didn’t send them back for more food, they would all die. Jacob was forced to make a hard decision. Lets pick up the story in chapter 43 verses 11-16:
11 Then their father Israel said to them, If it must be so, then do this: take some of the choice fruits of the land in your bags, and carry a present down to the man, a little balm and a little honey, gum, myrrh, pistachio nuts, and almonds. 12 Take double the money with you. Carry back with you the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks. Perhaps it was an oversight. 13 Take also your brother, and arise, go again to the man. 14 May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved. 15 So the men took this present, and they took double the money with them, and Benjamin. They arose and went down to Egypt and stood before Joseph.16 When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, Bring the men into the house, and slaughter an animal and make ready, for the men are to dine with me at noon.
So with a prayer, Jacob sent his sons back to Egypt and entrusted their care to God. He had promised to follow God all his days whether they were good or bad. And these certainly appeared to be bad ones. Let’s continue with verses 26-34:
26 When Joseph came home, they brought into the house to him the present that they had with them and bowed down
to him to the ground. 27 And he inquired about their welfare and said, Is your father well, the old man of whom you spoke? Is he still alive? 28 They said, Your servant our father is well; he is still alive. And they bowed their heads and prostrated themselves. 29 And he lifted up his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother's son, and said, Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me? God be gracious to you, my son! 30 Then Joseph hurried out, for his compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there. 31 Then he washed his face and came out. And controlling himself he said, Serve the food. 32 They served him by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because the Egyptians could not eat with the Hebrews, for that is an abomination to the Egyptians.33 And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth. And the men looked at one another in amazement. 34 Portions were taken to them from Joseph's table, but Benjamin's portion was five times as much as any of theirs. And they drank and were merry with him.
Joseph’s brothers’ honesty proved that they had changed and they showed their loyalty by coming back to save their brother Simeon. Joseph saw that they cared greatly for one another and that all traces of jealousy were gone, even when Benjamin was treated more favorably. They had passed the first and second tests. How would they fair with the third and final one? What would they do if one of their lives were threatened? Let's learn by reading Genesis chapter 44 verses 1-18:
1 Then he commanded the steward of his house, Fill the men's sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man's money in the mouth of his sack, 2 and put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest, with his money for the grain. And he did as Joseph told him. 3 As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away with their donkeys.4 They had gone only a short distance from the city. Now Joseph said to his steward, Up, follow after the men, and when you overtake them, say to them, Why have you repaid evil for good? 5 Is it not from this that my lord drinks, and by this that he practices divination? You have done evil in doing this. 6 When he overtook them, he spoke to them these words.7 They said to him, Why does my lord speak such words as these? Far be it from your servants to do such a thing! 8 Behold, the money that we found in the mouths of our sacks we brought back to you from the land of Canaan. How then could we steal silver or gold from your lord's house? 9 Whichever of your servants is found with it shall die, and we also will be my lord's servants.10 He said, Let it be as you say: he who is found with it shall be my servant, and the rest of you shall be innocent.11 Then each man quickly lowered his sack to the ground, and each man opened his sack.12 And he searched, beginning with the eldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. 13 Then they tore their clothes, and every man loaded his donkey, and they returned to the city. 14 When Judah and his brothers came to Joseph's house, he was still there. They fell before him to the ground. 15 Joseph said to them, What deed is this that you have done? Do you not know that a man like me can indeed practice divination? 16 And Judah said, What shall we say to my lord? What shall we speak? Or how can we clear ourselves? God has found out the guilt of your servants; behold, we are my lord's servants, both we and he also in whose hand the cup has been found.17 But he said, Far be it from me that I should do so! Only the man in whose hand the cup was found shall be my servant. But as for you, go up in peace to your father. 18 Then Judah went up to him and said, O my lord, please let your servant speak a word in my lord's ears, and let not your anger burn against your servant, for you are like Pharaoh himself.
Joseph had them cornered and the greatest test of all was about to be played out. How would the oldest brothers react? Would they chastise Benjamin and blame him for the predicament? Would they turn on him and give him up like they did Joseph? And if they did, would Joseph still forgive them? It wouldn’t take long for Joseph to find out because Judah stepped forward and asked if he could speak. Joseph granted him an audience and listened attentively to what Judah had to say. After Judah explained the whole story, the love for his father and brother shined brighter than the sun. But it was his final statement that carried the most weight. In verse 33 and 34, Judah says:
33 Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. 34 For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father
.
They successfully passed the test! Judah was willing to give up his own life to save Benjamin’s and keep his father from despair. Joseph had found out everything he wanted to know. His brothers had changed and were deserving of his forgiveness. But, he never needed to test them to forgive them. He already had years ago. At the beginning of Genesis chapter 45 we read:
1 Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, Make everyone go out from me. So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptian sheard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph! Is my father still alive? But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence.
Jaws dropped and his brothers just stood there in amazement. How could this be? Let's finish the lesson by reading verses 4-15:
4 So Joseph said to his brothers, Come near to me, please. And they came near. And he said, I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry. 10 You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children's children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty. 12 And now your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth that speaks to you. 13 You must tell my father of all my honor in Egypt, and of all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here. 14 Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, and Benjamin wept upon his neck. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.
Joseph’s forgiveness and embrace of his brothers must have been a powerful scene to witness. Anyone who has seen a family reunited at the airport can imagine how much happier this reunion must have been. But the family won’t be complete until Jacob and the rest of the family come to Egypt. A move that will not only fulfill God’s prophesy to Abraham, but also culminate in one of the greatest shows of God’s power.
This story of forgiveness can remind us of one of Turkey’s greatest moments. In 1934, Ataturk gave a moving speech commemorating the battles of Canakkale. Instead of being bitter and focusing on the Anzac’s attacks, he too took the high road of forgiveness and acceptance by paying homage to those who died:
"You the mothers who sent their sons from faraway countries wipe away your tears, your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land, they have become our sons as well.”
What an amazing statement! Thousands of Turkish men lost their lives and thousands of Turkish mothers lost their sons in the battles of Canakkale. This was a perfect moment for Ataturk to talk about the bravery of Turkish men, the atrocities of foreign invaders, and the ultimate triumph of the Turkish army. But he chose to close this chapter in history by comforting the mothers of the foreign forces and offering words of reconciliation and forgiveness. What kind of man can face betrayal and even war in this manner? A forgiving man!
Forgiveness is powerful! And it is a necessary ingredient for reconciliation. We all want healed relationships with our mom, dad, husband, wife, brother or sister, and neighbors. But sometimes it is so hard to forgive someone that you think doesn't deserve it. But how can you expect to be forgiven if you can't forgive? Joseph went from slave to prince by holding on to his integrity and forgiving. A forgiveness that he learned from a loving and forgiving God. He learned all that he knew of mercy and grace from looking at how God deals with humanity. You too can find healed relationships! How? By forgiving and asking for forgiveness! If Joseph could forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery and lying to his father, how necessary should it be for us to forgive those who do much less to us? Don't let your unforgiveness get in the way of your being forgiven!
Questions for Discussion:
1) Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to be angry and hold a grudge than it is to forgive? Why do you think it is that way?
2) What was so special about Benjamin that Jacob didn’t want him to go?
3) Why did Joseph want to test his brothers before revealing his identity? Is there wisdom in testing someone before you forgive him or her?
4) What is your view of God? Is he more like Behnaz’s family or Joseph?
Behnaz was a 13-year-old girl living in Batman. She was very intelligent, hardworking, and dreamed of one day moving to Istanbul to be a doctor. She remembered the time when she was gravely sick and a local doctor saved her life. While she was lying in bed recuperating, she promised herself that she would dedicate her life to helping others. But unfortunately, that dream would never be realized.
One day after school, one of her older brothers saw her talking with a boy in the school courtyard. He quickly walked up and told the boy to get lost. He grabbed his sister’s arm and nearly dragged her home. That night he told his father and without ever questioning Behnaz, they exacted a punishment.
Unfortunately, the ending of the story is grim and we don’t need to provide any details. Behnaz never became a doctor because she was killed at the tender age of 13. Her family thought that she had shamed them by talking to the boy, but she was actually answering a question about homework. Blinded by rage and unwilling to listen to her explanation they chose revenge over forgiveness. Why is it so hard to forgive?
In the Bible, there are many stories of shame and betrayal. And while there are some incidents of revenge, there seems to be a recurrent theme of forgiveness. One of the best examples from the Old Testament happened during the life of a remarkable young man. The young man was Joseph and after being sold into slavery by his brothers and imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, he could have become very bitter to those who had treated him unfairly. And if he ever had a chance, he could have sought revenge. But he chose to view the events of his life from a different perspective and to walk the highroad of forgiveness. Let’s pick up the story from where our last lesson left off in Genesis chapter 42 verses 1-4:
1 When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, Why do you look at one another? 2 And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die. 3 So ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4 But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with his brothers, for he feared that harm might happen to him.
Many years had passed and Jacob’s sons were now men. The same famine that was affecting Egypt was also affecting Canaan. It seems that Joseph’s plan to save grain during the seven years of plenty was working well. The Egyptians were surviving and there were enough surpluses to sell to foreigners. As the supplies of Jacob’s family dwindled, it became apparent that they too would need to buy grain from Egypt. Jacob, still hurting from the loss of Joseph and not wanting to lose another young boy, ordered his 10 older sons to go and Benjamin to stay. Let's read what happened next in verses 5-8:
5 And the sons of Israel came to buy corn among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan. 6 And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph's brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth. 7 And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food. 8 And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.
Take a minute to imagine the scene. Jacob’s sons arrive in Egypt and are ushered forward to the governor who oversaw all grain sales. The guards are standing there with spears, the measuring scales are being filled with grain, and money is being exchanged. The Bible says that amidst all the hustle and bustle Joseph, looking like every other Egyptian official, immediately knew his brothers. He could have immediately exacted revenge on his brothers but didn't and he chose not to reveal his true identity. Imagine Joseph's emotions racing as they bow down before him fulfilling the prophetic dream given to him so many years before. He begins to interrogate them in verses 9-17:
9 And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.10 And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come. 11 We are all one man's sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies. 12 And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come. 13 And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not. 14 And Joseph said unto them, That is it that I spake unto you, saying, Ye are spies: 15 Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither. 16 Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies. 17 And he put them all together into ward three days.
Those men must have wondered what in the world they got themselves into. All they wanted to do was buy some grain and go home. But instead they were in prison and being accused of espionage. It appears the tide had turned and they were reaping what they sowed many years before. What does Joseph have in store for them and why isn’t he telling them who he is? Let's continue with verses 18-24:
18 And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; for I fear God: 19 If ye be true men, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses: 20 But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so. 21 And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us. 22 And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required. 23 And they knew not that Joseph understood them; for he spake unto them by an interpreter. 24 And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.
Joseph, knowing that he held the lives of his brothers in the palm of his hand and wondering if they had changed, decided to test them in three areas: honesty, loyalty, and self-sacrifice. Three character traits that they had placed such little value on when they were younger. So many years had passed since they betrayed him and lied to their father. During those years, Joseph had suffered so much as a slave and prisoner; not to mention being separated from his father and mother. He wondered if they had changed as much as he had and if they were worthy of his forgiveness. And what about this younger brother they spoke of? Were his brothers telling the truth or just trying to get themselves out of trouble?
The scriptures say that Joseph was greatly moved by his brothers’ sense of guilt and unable to control his emotions he turned to cry. It is amazing that there is no mention of bitterness or thoughts of revenge in the whole story. It wasn’t self- discipline or even self-control, but rather the close communion that he had with God that allowed him to act without anger. Somehow, Joseph was able to hold back the tears and continued. He ordered that Simeon, the one whose idea it was to sell Joseph as a slave, be thrown into jail and the others released. Let's get back to the story in verses 25-38:
25 Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man's money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them. 26 And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence. 27 And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it was in his sack's mouth. 28 And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, it is even in my sack: and their heart failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us? 29 And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying, 30 The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country. 31 And we said unto him, We are truemen; we are no spies: 32 We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan. 33 And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone: 34 And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land. 35 And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man's bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid. 36 And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me. 37 And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again. 38 And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.
Jacob couldn’t believe what he heard. His sons had brought him so much pain through the years and now he had two lost sons instead of one. As far as he knew, Joseph was dead, Simeon was a prisoner in Egypt, and a foreign power wanted his youngest son Benjamin. How could the great covenant with God be fulfilled if his sons were to be slowly taken away? Jacob didn’t want to lose anything else and refused to give his sons permission to return to Egypt. But the food would only last so long and Jacob eventually found himself in a bind. If he sent his sons back to Egypt without Benjamin, he would lose them all. And if he didn’t send them back for more food, they would all die. Jacob was forced to make a hard decision. Lets pick up the story in chapter 43 verses 11-16:
11 Then their father Israel said to them, If it must be so, then do this: take some of the choice fruits of the land in your bags, and carry a present down to the man, a little balm and a little honey, gum, myrrh, pistachio nuts, and almonds. 12 Take double the money with you. Carry back with you the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks. Perhaps it was an oversight. 13 Take also your brother, and arise, go again to the man. 14 May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved. 15 So the men took this present, and they took double the money with them, and Benjamin. They arose and went down to Egypt and stood before Joseph.16 When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, Bring the men into the house, and slaughter an animal and make ready, for the men are to dine with me at noon.
So with a prayer, Jacob sent his sons back to Egypt and entrusted their care to God. He had promised to follow God all his days whether they were good or bad. And these certainly appeared to be bad ones. Let’s continue with verses 26-34:
26 When Joseph came home, they brought into the house to him the present that they had with them and bowed down
to him to the ground. 27 And he inquired about their welfare and said, Is your father well, the old man of whom you spoke? Is he still alive? 28 They said, Your servant our father is well; he is still alive. And they bowed their heads and prostrated themselves. 29 And he lifted up his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother's son, and said, Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me? God be gracious to you, my son! 30 Then Joseph hurried out, for his compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there. 31 Then he washed his face and came out. And controlling himself he said, Serve the food. 32 They served him by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because the Egyptians could not eat with the Hebrews, for that is an abomination to the Egyptians.33 And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth. And the men looked at one another in amazement. 34 Portions were taken to them from Joseph's table, but Benjamin's portion was five times as much as any of theirs. And they drank and were merry with him.
Joseph’s brothers’ honesty proved that they had changed and they showed their loyalty by coming back to save their brother Simeon. Joseph saw that they cared greatly for one another and that all traces of jealousy were gone, even when Benjamin was treated more favorably. They had passed the first and second tests. How would they fair with the third and final one? What would they do if one of their lives were threatened? Let's learn by reading Genesis chapter 44 verses 1-18:
1 Then he commanded the steward of his house, Fill the men's sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man's money in the mouth of his sack, 2 and put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest, with his money for the grain. And he did as Joseph told him. 3 As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away with their donkeys.4 They had gone only a short distance from the city. Now Joseph said to his steward, Up, follow after the men, and when you overtake them, say to them, Why have you repaid evil for good? 5 Is it not from this that my lord drinks, and by this that he practices divination? You have done evil in doing this. 6 When he overtook them, he spoke to them these words.7 They said to him, Why does my lord speak such words as these? Far be it from your servants to do such a thing! 8 Behold, the money that we found in the mouths of our sacks we brought back to you from the land of Canaan. How then could we steal silver or gold from your lord's house? 9 Whichever of your servants is found with it shall die, and we also will be my lord's servants.10 He said, Let it be as you say: he who is found with it shall be my servant, and the rest of you shall be innocent.11 Then each man quickly lowered his sack to the ground, and each man opened his sack.12 And he searched, beginning with the eldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. 13 Then they tore their clothes, and every man loaded his donkey, and they returned to the city. 14 When Judah and his brothers came to Joseph's house, he was still there. They fell before him to the ground. 15 Joseph said to them, What deed is this that you have done? Do you not know that a man like me can indeed practice divination? 16 And Judah said, What shall we say to my lord? What shall we speak? Or how can we clear ourselves? God has found out the guilt of your servants; behold, we are my lord's servants, both we and he also in whose hand the cup has been found.17 But he said, Far be it from me that I should do so! Only the man in whose hand the cup was found shall be my servant. But as for you, go up in peace to your father. 18 Then Judah went up to him and said, O my lord, please let your servant speak a word in my lord's ears, and let not your anger burn against your servant, for you are like Pharaoh himself.
Joseph had them cornered and the greatest test of all was about to be played out. How would the oldest brothers react? Would they chastise Benjamin and blame him for the predicament? Would they turn on him and give him up like they did Joseph? And if they did, would Joseph still forgive them? It wouldn’t take long for Joseph to find out because Judah stepped forward and asked if he could speak. Joseph granted him an audience and listened attentively to what Judah had to say. After Judah explained the whole story, the love for his father and brother shined brighter than the sun. But it was his final statement that carried the most weight. In verse 33 and 34, Judah says:
33 Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. 34 For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father
.
They successfully passed the test! Judah was willing to give up his own life to save Benjamin’s and keep his father from despair. Joseph had found out everything he wanted to know. His brothers had changed and were deserving of his forgiveness. But, he never needed to test them to forgive them. He already had years ago. At the beginning of Genesis chapter 45 we read:
1 Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, Make everyone go out from me. So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptian sheard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph! Is my father still alive? But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence.
Jaws dropped and his brothers just stood there in amazement. How could this be? Let's finish the lesson by reading verses 4-15:
4 So Joseph said to his brothers, Come near to me, please. And they came near. And he said, I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. 7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. 8 So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry. 10 You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children's children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty. 12 And now your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth that speaks to you. 13 You must tell my father of all my honor in Egypt, and of all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here. 14 Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, and Benjamin wept upon his neck. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.
Joseph’s forgiveness and embrace of his brothers must have been a powerful scene to witness. Anyone who has seen a family reunited at the airport can imagine how much happier this reunion must have been. But the family won’t be complete until Jacob and the rest of the family come to Egypt. A move that will not only fulfill God’s prophesy to Abraham, but also culminate in one of the greatest shows of God’s power.
This story of forgiveness can remind us of one of Turkey’s greatest moments. In 1934, Ataturk gave a moving speech commemorating the battles of Canakkale. Instead of being bitter and focusing on the Anzac’s attacks, he too took the high road of forgiveness and acceptance by paying homage to those who died:
"You the mothers who sent their sons from faraway countries wipe away your tears, your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land, they have become our sons as well.”
What an amazing statement! Thousands of Turkish men lost their lives and thousands of Turkish mothers lost their sons in the battles of Canakkale. This was a perfect moment for Ataturk to talk about the bravery of Turkish men, the atrocities of foreign invaders, and the ultimate triumph of the Turkish army. But he chose to close this chapter in history by comforting the mothers of the foreign forces and offering words of reconciliation and forgiveness. What kind of man can face betrayal and even war in this manner? A forgiving man!
Forgiveness is powerful! And it is a necessary ingredient for reconciliation. We all want healed relationships with our mom, dad, husband, wife, brother or sister, and neighbors. But sometimes it is so hard to forgive someone that you think doesn't deserve it. But how can you expect to be forgiven if you can't forgive? Joseph went from slave to prince by holding on to his integrity and forgiving. A forgiveness that he learned from a loving and forgiving God. He learned all that he knew of mercy and grace from looking at how God deals with humanity. You too can find healed relationships! How? By forgiving and asking for forgiveness! If Joseph could forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery and lying to his father, how necessary should it be for us to forgive those who do much less to us? Don't let your unforgiveness get in the way of your being forgiven!
Questions for Discussion:
1) Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to be angry and hold a grudge than it is to forgive? Why do you think it is that way?
2) What was so special about Benjamin that Jacob didn’t want him to go?
3) Why did Joseph want to test his brothers before revealing his identity? Is there wisdom in testing someone before you forgive him or her?
4) What is your view of God? Is he more like Behnaz’s family or Joseph?